Dicken is a man in a perpetual midlife crisis. He is my Alter Ego. He writes poetry. In fact in 2015 he was crowned worst poet in London at the Anti-Slam. He is on the left.
Alone at Midnight on the computer.
Oh No. I’ve just bought four Kayaks on Ebay.co.uk, for me and my family
It seemed such a brilliant idea
Just 30 seconds ago.
But now I feel like I’ve spent all our Summer Holiday money
Which I have done I think.
Read the Terms and Conditions.
Terms and Condition.
Oh Noooooooooooo!
It wasn’t the marketing that tricked me.
It wasn’t the creepy re-targeting on other websites,
Echo Echo,
Retargeting Retargeting,
Just leave me alone
I already have a shed.
What tricked me was my own mind.
I saw a picture of a happy family
Kayaking up a river. Like ducks in a row.
It was magnificent and I clicked on that in my mind.
Now four massive Kayaks will arrive on Tuesday.
Oh Noooooooooo.
No One come with me.
No One will understand.
They will say it’s a ‘mid life crisis’
Like when I left my job to write a K-Pop Musical.
But it’s not the same.
There is nothing more different than a mid life crisis
Than a man paddling up a river alone in a Kayak.
Oh Noooooooo.
Quick Quick. There might be a chance to contact the seller.
Yes, ‘Takethebinsout1973’ will understand the problem.
He is a man. He will help me. I will click on his profile link. The page comes up.Then I see.Then I understand what it is to me a modern man.
It says.
4 Kayaks for Sale. Bought for Family. Never used.
It’s an infinite loop. He like me, like me, like me.
It never ends. It’s an infinite Man Loop.
Oh Noooooooo.